Your smile accentuates everything about you.
Your piercing green eyes,
Your fair, light-brown skin,
Your hands caressing my yellow scarf,
And once your sleek hair,
Which flowed past your neck.
I pass my hand across your face,
Touching your ticklish spot behind your ear,
Pinching the edges of your neck,
Being careful not to touch where your wig starts to tear.
I hold your cold, pale hand,
Tracing the thin veins down to the nails.
I think of all the times I’ve held those hands,
Those hands that caressed my face,
Those hands that made my favorite soup,
Those hands that had warmed mine.
But I know these moments are not yet gone.
You’ve already promised me,
And not once you’ve broken one.
So I lay you to rest now,
Letting you retain the strength you need.
You know those hospital sheets don’t suit you,
You look better in your own bed.
Better in the strange gray satin,
That you paraded as our best home purchase.
Better amongst the pillows we’ve got,
That outnumber us twenty-four to two.
Better laying by my side,
So that you may cuddle up next to me.
May you not live as grief in my heart,
But as a companion to join me in life.
May you not live as a bittersweet memory,
But a lovely teacher on the joy of living.
May you live grasping my hand in strength,
And not by slowly letting go, as I hold on to yours.
I trust you now, to meet me once more.
I trusted you then, that this would be but a slight inconvenience,
And I will trust you onwards, in hopes you’ll come back home.
Then we will cry,
Laugh together,
Be joyous again and again.
We will partake in frivolous, childish acts,
Playing hide-and-seek in the kitchen,
Arm wrestling in the bedroom,
And watching movies or shows in the living room.
And at the end of it all,
You will touch my hair,
And I’ll caress yours,
As proof we’re only for each other,
Even if only for a limited time,
To grow beyond mourning.
Teach me this to be true.
Tell me this future comes near.
For I write my little poems,
To chase away the fear.
May you come back to bring rhyme and reason,
To such a sudden collapse,
To tell me it was all a ruse,
So that we all may laugh.
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